Countless travelers have shared their tales of woe these last few months. It made me realize, losing your luggage for a few days? Not so bad. In fact, it’s about the best of the myriad of crappy things that can happen to you.
1. Monkey bites.
Lola was bit by a monkey while just lying on the beach. She had to get a rabies shot in her stomach. HER STOMACH.
2. Dog Bites.
A dude was bit by a stray dog. I do not know said dude, but I imagine there are a lot of them. (Dudes and definitely dogs.)
3. Getting shot at.
Natalie was shot at while sitting in the back of her taxi in Nigeria. She later found out the driver owed a debt and the shooter was just trying to blow the tire, but still.
4. Losing your phone, clothes, passport, will to live.
Maybe not that last one, but Lizzie’s phone was lost and/or stolen three times. Her backpack (which held her clothes AND her passport) was also “misplaced” in Indonesia when a bus driver neglected to load it on the bus. She had to fly back home to the UK to avoid paying $30/day (for approx. 6 weeks) to stay in Indonesia while she waited for her new visa and passport.
5. Luggage misses the boat. Literally.
John and Cathy, a couple from Sierra Nevada, took the slow boat to Luang Prabang. Their luggage stayed behind. It’s one thing for your luggage not to make the plane, but to not make a small boat where it literally sits ten feet away from you? (Once located, the guide company initially wouldn’t send it on the bus because the luggage didn’t have locks and the company didn’t want to be held responsible for potential stolen items. Note to self: always lock your luggage.)
6. Falling coconuts/shattered noggins/broken dreams.
Someone knew a guy who was hit on the head by a falling coconut. This one seemed like a stretch until I noticed falling coconut signs all around a park in Taiwan.
7. Motorbike accidents.
Thailand, especially, was filled with limping and bandaged westerners who had crashed their motorbikes. It always seemed to be their right sides covered in scabs and gauze. I saw one poor guy schlep his right side all over town like a large sack of potatoes or more appropriately, mangoes.
8. Motorbike muggings.
I didn’t see it for myself (thank god), but in Phnom Penh, two men on motorbikes would surround a tuk-tuk and rip bags from unsuspecting passengers. They were also said to cut bags off of people on sidewalks, or nab them off of other motorbike passengers and drivers, pulling their victims from their bikes and onto the street. I practiced throwing steely glares and mean elbows during every tuk-tuk ride.
9. Food poisoning/comas.
Elske, a Dutch girl, was on a trip in Africa when 37 people in her group got food poisoning. She was in the hospital for days, and since she didn’t trust that the hospital's tools were properly sterilized, she refused IVs, prolonging her dehydration. Another guy went into a coma. Suddenly a few bouts of diarrhea doesn’t look so bad. Scratch that. Sound so bad. Nope. I’ll stop there.
10. Cockroaches and other creepy crawlies.
A girl was on the night bus when she spotted a cockroach. (Full disclosure: the girl was Elske again.) Then another. She lifted up her mattress and the entire underside was covered. She looked up to see two other people balled up on the edge of their mattresses looking at her. While the rest of the bus slept soundly, the three all-knowing curled their toes and counted the seconds till they arrived at their destination.